My teacher treated me differently. Once, we were answering challenging questions. She laughed and said: “Class, you are not allowed to use the textbook. Only he (pointing at me) is allowed to use it”. Many started laughing and calling me names like “noob”, “dumb sia”.
This was in primary 5, and I got into the “best class”. It was a culture shock..the level of kiasu-ism... It was like the ‘Hunger Games’, where everyone’s trying to win and fighting not to be “killed” by each other. Despite trying my best (72 marks), I still scored lowest in class for 3 consecutive exams. That was when the bullying started. I got called names like “retarded, disgrace” and “waste of resources”. My teacher lamented ‘lowest in class again!’ when handing out exam scripts. That didn’t help either.
I was quite emotionally affected back then. It’s hard to describe it exactly, but when you’re being bullied, you wake up every morning and have this lingering negative feeling, that you’re expecting bad things to happen. And it made me fearful and unmotivated to come to school.
There’s a quote that goes: “Work hard in silence, let success be your noise”. When I felt like giving up, this was my silent motivation. I did my best in PSLE, and scored better than some who called me names. But that’s not that important, it’s the resilience I developed that I treasure. To anyone who is facing bullying, I shared my story to encourage you to persevere on and never quit, you’ll eventually win the battle and be grateful for the tough times.
Right now, I’m in secondary 3 and I’m doing much better. I love my secondary school - my friends and teachers offer a helping hand or listening ear when I’m feeling low, they have shaped me into who I am. My mindset towards education changed too. Although I do my best in academics, I know it’s not the only thing that matters. A musician I spoke to said that he did not need math and science to produce music, only relevant subjects are important when you work in a certain industry. Also, results do not dictate who you are as a person. If you achieve academic success but have a terrible character, you’re still a not-so-good person. So as long as we do our best and work on ourselves, we can be successful in our own way.
Looking back, I don’t blame or have hatred for my primary school classmates nor teacher, they were just influenced by the competitive, kiasu culture. My hope for students is to be more accepting and not be so kiasu haha. Do not judge others who are less academically-able, some people have other talents such as in the arts (dance, music, etc.). If you observe friends not doing so well, try to help them. We learn when we teach too. Organizing group study sessions also helps you have a diverse group of friends, with different strengths to help each other. This way we can build an inclusive culture where everyone can succeed together in different ways. This is my hope for our education.