Alvin (Hope Alliance; Providing Support For Mental Health Issues)

My chinese teacher called me “小霸王” (xiao ba wang), translated as "little arrogant king". I couldn’t sit still nor pay attention. I remember she chased me around the class with a ruler. Once, I made a paper gun, and shot a plastic bullet at my best friend. I saw his skin turn dark red, and he cried very loudly. To prepare for the canning, I stuffed as much toilet paper as I could. But luckily I got let off with a warning. Looking back, it is ironic that I eventually served as a police officer, and discovered a passion in counselling and helping others strive towards positive mental health.

My first full time job was a police officer. Part of my job was to do home visits, and in 3 years, I befriended many residents and they shared openly with me. I remember vividly once, there was a middle-aged lady who was having some marital problems and was attempting suicide. I listened to her and managed to calm her down, and persuaded her to seek help instead.

In those years, I discovered that I liked being a “kaypoh”, in a good way. I found comfort and fulfillment in listening to and advising others. That’s where I decided in my heart, that I will pursue a dream to become a counsellor.

In one of the Personal Development courses I attended, I wrote down my 3-Year goal. I took a big pay cut to join a non-profit organisation to work as a Program Assistant in youth work and later joined the People’s Association (PA) as a Club Manager to run The Teens Network (T-Net) Club to organise various interactive and meaningful activities for teens to participate. While working in PA, I completed a part-time degree in BA (Psychology), and decided to move on. Before I left, my boss said “That’s fast, we’re just about to promote you”. But since the incident with the suicidal lady, my mind was already made up. told him: “I have to pursue my dream

 I worked as a counsellor for various social service organizations. The work had been fulfilling, but I felt a bit stuck - I wanted to influence more people. In my 30s, I saw my friends setting up their own businesses. I thought: “If not now, when?”

I attended some courses on social entrepreneurship and took a leap of faith. I started and ran 2 training related businesses, which slowed down eventually. During that time, I got introduced to a support group for people recovering from mental health conditions - depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc. It was my first time being focused in this area of work, and I learnt a lot.

I realised how much mental health issues are stigmatized and misunderstood by society. This leads to a major gap - there is a lack of adequate outpatient support for people in recovery.

When a person is suspected to have some symptoms of mental health problems, their family will either send them to see a psychiatrist in Institute of Mental Health (IMH) or a private psychiatrist. When they are discharged from IMH, mainly they are referred to government mental health agencies for follow-up. If the person does not want to go there for aftercare support, they are left alone to fight the battle.

This led to the start of a social enterprise H.O.P.E alliance, whose mission is to support, equip and empower people in recovery from mental health conditions. I strongly believe “Anyone can Recover, Everyone can Support!” Officially, it launched only on 10 Jan 2018 and we have since grown to have a group of committed volunteers and a few key services - individual and group therapy, peer learning circles, mental health recovery coaching programme, and mental health community talks. With any business, there are challenges, but when the people we serve come up to us and express their gratitude, that we have “saved their life”, it keeps you going.

 I once gave a talk at a school on mental health awareness and self-care. After the session, a few students came to me to thank me, and also opened up. They said they are struggling, but are reluctant to seek help because of fear of embarrassment or stigma.

I made some suggestions to them: If you’re facing stress, it's important to recognise the triggers and learn coping methods – like regular exercise, music and art, talking to friends or siblings, anything that helps relieve the stress. If the anxiety/sadness is persistent (at least two weeks), consider seeking help from school counsellors, it's so important to do so early.

To help you to figure out if you need professional help, you need to ask yourself these questions: 1) How often does this happen (frequency). 2) How bad is it when it happens (intensity). 3) How long does it last when it happens (duration). For most cases I work with, there were bad life experiences or trauma in their childhood, which builds up slowly because it’s not dealt with early. If you’re afraid of judgement, seek help quietly and let them know your fears, the counsellors will help manage it.

My hope and mission for Singapore is to be more aware and equipped to help people with mental health conditions. Even though its invisible, it is a real condition and can be crippling. If you’re reading this, always remember to be kind and less judgmental to others. If you’re helping someone, provide a listening ear and build that trust, and suggest to them to seek help if necessary. You have to recognise that you can’t solve everything, so learn to direct friends to people who are equipped to help, and don’t take it upon yourself entirely. With more education on this topic, I believe we can make our society a more healing and empowering place for everyone.

Anyone can Recover, Everyone can Support.

Melodee (Bark A Tree; Championing Pet Responsibility & Cultivating a Pet Friendly Nation)

I was at a gathering. There was a young girl who didn’t do well in her exams, and her parent (who is a teacher) was counselling her. She said: “If you don’t study, you will go to ITE and have no future”. The entire room went silent, because I was from studying there. What’s more, I was in my school uniform.

I would be lying if I said it didn’t affect me, but I used the hurt to drive me instead.

In the end, I graduated among the top 5 in my course. I thought that was good enough to enter Polytechnic, so I was attending an open house. I enquired about a course of study and the GPA required. The lecturer replied me “What’s your course?”. I stated that I was from ITE. She replied: “Oh, it’s a very high GPA to get in”. I said: “I’m aware, but what is it?”. She brushed it off with a sentence I’ll always remember: “Oh, we don’t really look for ITE students.”

From then on, I told myself…one day I will make the doubters eat their words. It motivated me to work even harder, gain enough experience, and become a lecturer one day. Because I want to make sure no other student ever feels looked down upon solely because of their education background. It’s not right.

Eventually, I went to another polytechnic – SP. They were forthcoming and open to me, and its important to understand that not everyone labels. In particular, my SP lecturer was like a mentor, he believed in me and got me started in freelance graphic design and image editing. I started to pick up skills I could monetize and use.

Everything was going fine till a setback struck. My parents got into a car accident. Both of them had injuries, and my Mum had to stop working because her back was hurting. She was bringing in a sizeable income so that was a major blow.

We eventually had to move out of our home. In the process of doing so, we had to board our dogs. They contracted viruses, and the bills to cure it came up to $7000. They survived it, but contracted another virus in the area they were treated.

This time, the virus was bad. Every day was a pain, I could hardly focus in school. Our family situation was still tricky, and our dogs were dying slowly, and it really hurt. Mine was less than a year old. Eventually, they gave in. Till this day, I tear up when I think about this. I felt that I was a horrible owner, I felt responsible for both lives lost.

I met Dominic in an interesting way. There was a girl that was chasing him, but he didn’t feel too comfortable, so my brother recommended me to be a ‘fake girlfriend’ for the time being. We hung out and it slowly became a thing. During my struggles, we could hardly meet, because he had a dog as well and the virus was contagious. Once, after visiting me, he had to sterilize himself before going back. Regardless, Dominic was a pillar of support emotionally and also encouraged me to volunteer at dog shelters. It served as a distraction and helped me come to terms with my emotions.

During my volunteering period, I realised that pet awareness in Singapore is still very low. Also, shelters have little time to run events because they are busy caring for the strays and abandoned pets.

That was when I decided to give it a shot – to run an independent campaign. It was something new, and the planning was a nightmare. I was about to give up, but my brother told me, you either ‘Go big or go home’. With that mindset, we somehow got a massive number of people on board, from all walks of life and expertise. We even got Kumar to host the event for us. The campaign was called 'Adopting Virtues', which was focused on adoption. We wanted to showcase that adopting a pet is not all rainbows and butterflies; it requires hard work and effort but can also be very rewarding. After the event, about 10-15 dogs were adopted and we managed to raise $12k in total for our beneficiaries.

My pain of losing my own dog is continued motivation. In my eyes, since I was not a good pet owner, I want to make up for it by educating others. This is the least I can do in honour of him.

We registered Bark A Tree in 2017, as the first pet social enterprise in Singapore. We gather different people from the pet community and hold events in malls, community centers or even in the heartlands ! We have since run about 20 events, and raised about 60k for shelters and animal welfare groups. Our mission is to build the bridge & connection between people and pets. To help Singaporeans understand them, care for them, and accept them. Our vision is to help Singapore become a more pet friendly nation, which I believe will also forge a more inclusive and compassionate society.

Ghandi was once said: ‘“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated”.

From the hurt of being labelled, to my struggles and the loss of my own dog, I am grateful for them and believe it all contributed to who I am today and the passion to realise Bark A Tree’s vision!

Alvin (Community Builder)

My Mum passed away from cancer when I was 7, when I was in Primary 1. I had two younger siblings. So out of necessity, I had to 'grow up fast'; responsibility was thrust on me from a young age. I looked after my siblings, handled chores and groceries...

In school, my teacher made me the class monitor, and eventually became the assistant head prefect. In secondary school and junior college, I became a scout, was part of the chinese cultural society, did rock climbing, swimming and played the guitar. Through it, I nurtured different skills - design, facilitating, leading, project management..and kept my mind and body active.

I was influenced by Leonardo Da Vinci, a polymath (someone skilled in multiple disciplines). He was skilled in painting, sculpting, science, engineering, music, and many other things. I told myself, if he can do it, why not I? It reminds me...the story we tell our young shapes their future quite significantly.

And one significant influence was my Mum’s wish for me. I drew pretty well, so before she passed, she told me to aspire to be an architect. And I’ve always held that thought in my mind.

Ms Eilizabeth Poey is a name I’ll always remember. She was my JC teacher.. more than a teacher...she literally shaped the course of my life.

She loved mountain climbing, and was the first to conceive the idea of outdoor education in the form of mountain climbing expeditions with students. She convinced MOE to take it up. I eagerly signed up, but there was a problem - the medical board deemed me unfit to climb, too scrawny and weak. But Ms Poey fought for me. She challenged the board, challenged authority. She felt she knew me better than the medical board, that the tests were not reflective of my ability. Eventually, I went to the NJC Himalayan Expedition in Nepal in 1984. And it was then I fell in love with the mountains, and was drawn deeply to third world societies. I saw how poor people were and the need to serve them, which would drive my work in social entrepreneurship much later.

All these was made possible because a teacher cared, because she stood up for me even when she didn’t have to. She passed away recently, and her life was celebrated by her family and friends. To her I am eternally grateful.

After JC, I wanted to read architecture as my Mum suggested, but taking our family's finances into account, I took an army scholarship instead and studied physics and computer science in London. I served for several years, and am grateful for the training they provided me. But I felt restricted - I felt ‘constipated’ with ideas. So I eventually left and started work in running events. Yet, in my 40s, I remembered my calling to do social projects.

The first major one was called ‘Project A-Day-in-a-Wheelchair’, in 1999. My friend, an avid mountain climber, was temporarily wheelchair bound from a disease. He was outraged at the poor wheelchair accessibility in Singapore, and wrote to the media to complain. This created a huge debate and justifications from both sides. So I thought, instead of talking, why not do something about it?

A crazy idea came to my mind - to put 200 people in wheelchairs for a day to raise awareness, spark empathy and drive change. I approached my friends from the Singapore Adventurers’ Club to pitch the idea - 10 people said I was crazy, too risky, too many liabilities and roadblocks. But the other 10 said “Alvin, we believe in you, tell us how we can help”.

I knew the then Swiss Ambassador who was a supporter of mountaineering in Singapore. I told him my crazy idea. He paused for a while, smiled, and told me to draft a letter. I took 3 days to do it, and he sent it to Swiss companies. For a while nothing happened, but one day Credit Swiss (the bank) called me. They said “Alvin, we love your idea, here’s $2000 for you”. Wow, I was stunned. Then other companies started calling in. Ricola told me they couldn't provide cash, but could have all the sweets I want. Great! Movenpick (the restaurant) offered to provide me food and refreshments.

So eventually, we pulled together sponsors, partners, volunteers, guests of honor and put 200 people on the streets. It also involved a public exhibition to raise awareness, and many media outlets covered the event too.

I learnt one major lesson from this experience. If you have a vision, be brave. Most might think you’re nuts and ridiculous, but a few will believe in your vision. And that’s all you need to begin, just like how it only takes a spark to light a forest.

In the 10 years that followed, I started a business and other social initiatives. Yet, I yearned to go back to 3rd world societies to serve. I believe in order to fully experience who we are, we have to experience contrast, evolve new ideas and serve one another. Words do not teach, it is life experience that teaches. So when my daughter completed her PSLE, our family took a year long trip around the world. We called it Seva 2011, which translates to ‘selfless service’, performed without expectation of return.

We travelled to numerous cities, but became most involved in 2 communities in Jharkhand (India) and Nairobi (Kenya).

In Kenya, we were introduced to Children’s Garden Home (CGH), run by Moses Ndung'u. CGH has grown from helping 5 kids to 150 live-in kids plus 100 kids who come daily for school from the nearby slums. Every child who lives in CGH has a heartbreaking story; most were abandoned or abused, and rescued from the street. Having so many little souls to care for is an astronomical responsibility, and we were deeply touched my Moses dedication. As such, we decided to live there for 3 months, and co-created many initiatives to help them. Some of them included a chicken farm, setting up a website for donations, brochure design, and classroom upgrading.

Another special place was Jharkhand, India. A landlocked place, far from urban civilization. We met Chawlaji, a director of 13 tribal schools. It was magical to experience the bond and warmth shared here. Every morning before 7am, you'll see the students enthusiastically cleaning up the school compound, watering the plants, and even sweeping the main road. The sense of belongingness is so strong that children cherish the school like their home, and care for one another like brothers and sisters. Again, we stayed and worked together with Chawlaji to create projects that will benefit the students, like digital media competitions and learning basic technology. The kids were so excited because they have never seen themselves on a screen. A major project was the sponsoring of 2 solar classrooms, which provided resources for better learning. When I came back to visit 6 years later in 2017, I was overjoyed to notice that the neighbouring tribal schools had solar classrooms too. It shows that good ideas have power to permeate and spread, and impact communities for good.

We ended our Seva on a high, and it has transformed us deeply. I’m still closely connected to those communities, and continue to support them. We give selflessly, but the person that benefits most is me. These people taught me lessons my education or expertise can never provide. I am humbled. They live with so little, and yet they are joyful. They find simple solutions to problems. They teach you gratitude and love in the purest essence. They can sit under the trees and talk passionately about the moon and stars (for us, we only do it during eclipses to take pictures/selfies and post it). Once, a farmer (TigerlandRiceFarm.com) told me they stopped fishing in a certain stretch of river because they noticed that “the river was tired”. Wow, I cannot describe that moment, how he personified the river and described it like his own child. It invokes in you a social consciousness and enlightenment that no amount of textbooks will.

Dream BIG! It takes the same amount of energy to dream small, so why not dream BIG!

Everyone of us is a seed to a mighty oak tree - it is our potential. Whether you actualize it is another thing. When you do something, you must have some sense that it’s worth it, that its worth to stake your life on it. And when you get into it with complete intensity, the absoluteness is felt by others! But more importantly, by yourself.

To grow that seed, you must be curious and hungry, try everything. Only when you know what you don’t like, then you know what you’ll like. Only when you know what doesn’t work, then you know what works. In school, we only see red marks, no one marks you for your brilliance, so we start out with negative programming. But be brave, there is no failure, only ‘affordable lessons’. If you’re brave, the dots will connect eventually. Not immediately, but it will when you look back.

My whole life was full of twists and turns, and each experience eventually shaped what I do. I may not have had money to take architecture, but it led me to what I call myself: an ‘experiential architect’. I love to create, to imagine, to dream of ways to create positive experiences for people, and then gather the tools to make it come alive. So in a way, I fulfilled my Mum’s dream for me to be an ‘architect’. I hope I’ve done her proud.

Whitney (Reyna Movement ; Educating and Empowering Rohingyan Refugees)

 I was 170cm tall in primary school, quite crazy right haha…So I naturally felt it was my duty to ‘protect’ others, I would stand up for my friends and make tough decisions. In secondary school, I volunteered with MINDS, an NGO that cares for the intellectually disabled. Over there, I learnt so much beyond the classroom. I was given leadership roles to handle events, money, and large groups of people. I had a mentor that developed my mindset and skillset, and taught me to be an independent thinker. Fast forward to after my ‘A’ levels, people closest to me felt that I should further my studies. However, I decided that I shouldn’t follow societal norms blindly. I could eventually go if I wanted, but at that moment, I felt it would be of greater value to start working, to utilize and expand my skill sets, and support the family. I was old enough to make a hard & heart decision.

I loved art in primary school. I got accepted into SOTA but turned it down because my family felt pursuing art had no future. So I didn’t touch it for 4 years. But in JC, my heart told me to take H2 art, and I started from ground zero. When I started work after JC, I taught in an art studio as an assistant. I also explored design, film and video creation from scratch, though youtube tutorials and figuring things out, till I eventually got freelance projects.

Recently, I’ve started a media marketing company and decided to go back to school – to pursue Art & Design in NTU. My experience gives me an advantage in school, and I like how learning theories help me understand and improve my work.

I just love art, because it’s a very pure form of expression. It links to my vision: to inspire creative thinking. Creative fulfilment is different for everyone, it could producing videos for me but raising animals for someone else. We are all born artists, with the ability to express and create, but we sometimes inject others’ or societal expectations into ourselves. As long as we do, we’ll feel suppressed and frustrated. However, when we find our own voice, we can truly create great masterpieces.

The Rohingya People are a stateless ethnic group from Myanmar. For decades they have been subjected to prejudice and violence, because the law does not recognize them as an ‘accepted’ race. In 2016, the military carried out ‘ethnic cleansing’ – crimes like mass killing, arson and sexual violence, leading to almost 650,000 Rohingya refugees fleeing from Myanmar. As they flee to foreign countries, the refugees continue to face harsh conditions – lack of basic needs like food and shelter, lack of money and opportunities, and perhaps most heart-breaking – the lack of care and support.

I came to know about the Rohingya Refugees’ plight through my best partner Raeesah. I met her at a fundraising gala years back during the Singapore Refugee week. She has the biggest and kindest heart in the world and I have so much respect for her because of her dedication to serve the people. When I met her, she was running a project called Kakak Dan Aik, which raises funds and provides education and training for the Rohingya community.

Despite hitting milestones in my work, there have been times when I felt helpless. This left a strong void in me for the longest time, of wanting to empower people who felt helpless as well. So when the opportunity came, I took the chance to join Raeesah in her work. As we worked in KL, we noticed that the situation could not be solved by a year-long project. For real change to take place, we needed to do more.

That was when Reyna Movement was founded. We focused our efforts on creating long term sustainable programmes that the Rohingya community can benefit from. Our vision is: Empower a woman, nuture a generation. We believe women have the ability to nurture people innately. We also stand by the strengths of femininity and the power women hold. If we can empower one woman, she will go on to nurture generations to come. Since Reyna was founded, I’ve been to KL many times, and forged close bonds with the women and families there. They're like family to me. Knowing that we’re helping them get a second chance at life, a chance they fully deserve, has been the most heartwarming and fulfilling for me.

Last October, Reyna Movement launched a special cookbook entitled ‘Recipes of Resilience’. This was Raeesahs’ vision years before I met her. Each time she visited the homes of the Rohingya women, they would cook for her, teach her how to cook, and eat with her. The warmth & love she felt was indescribable. When I started visiting them as well, I could understand why she felt that way.

Home cooked food has always been a significant, sacred part of culture. Across any race or creed, food is a way to preserve culture & tradition, a time for nourishment and bonding. In Raeesah’s words, “it’s an incredible sight to witness, the resilience of a community so harshly persecuted, fighting to retain their dignity, faith and culture”

So that’s how the title of the book was born - Recipes of Resilience. Each recipe is accompanied by photos and a write up of the women's stories - of their harsh struggles & their firm resilience. We hope that this book can raise awareness and help others understand and care the Rohingya community better. Also, proceeds from the book will go to the woman who contributed their recipes, and also help to fund our education programmes.

I hope the Rohingya woman’s courage have inspired you in some way too! Many of you reading this are young haha. When I decided to pursue art after JC, I never knew it would lead to all this. So just take courage and have faith, pursue your passions, and the dots will connect eventually. And you’ll form your own recipes of resilience & creativity.

Isabel (Migrant X Me; Reducing Stigma Towards Foreign Workers)

I've graduated recently and just started my masters degree. I'm currently running a social enterprise start up too. Reflecting back, if I could go back 10 years in time and give previous advice to my younger self, it would be this: "Isabel, you really don’t know much. Even though you may think you know a lot, you really don’t. So be humble to learn, surround yourself with mentors and leaders that are able to guide you and provide wisdom. Don’t ever think you know enough. Never stop learning

As I grew up, I developed a heart for social activism and service. My earliest memory would be when my parents started sponsoring a Dalit child from India to go to school. The Dalits are known to be the lowest of Indian society, and are given jobs to clean the dirtiest places. They are nicknamed “The Untouchables”. I remember hearing a story whereby when a Dalit touched a cup, they had to break it because no one should touch it. They were “dirty”. So when I was much younger I remember knowing this and thinking - this is not right, how can someone be treated this way?

You might relate to the prejudice I was exposed to. When I was young, I was warned by elders that if I was naughty, they will get foreign workers to catch me. As a result, I was conditioned to fear them and perceive them as dangerous.

This changed in 2012. I noticed a few foreign workers asleep at my HDB void deck. I was curious to know why, so I bought them food and water, and struck a conversation with them. I was moved by their stories and sincerity. I wanted to do more to help them but I wasn’t sure how.

A turning point came in 2014, where I attended a workshop on migrant worker issues. I understood that, to provide for their families, migrant workers work long hours in physical labour, they build our schools, homes, malls…Yet, many have little rest, poor diet and living conditions. Also, due to their nature of work, serious injures do happen, but many employers decide to cancel their work permit and send them home, sometimes without adequate compensation or medical treatment. Social challenges like loneliness also creeps in, as they are away from their families. Once again, the same question came to me: How can someone be treated his way?’ As a Christian, I see each person as a unique, precious creation of God - with dignity, with purpose, with potential, and that’s what motivates me to speak up.

From 2014 to 2018, I befriended different workers from various countries and visited some of them or their families in Bangladesh and India. I made it a point to share my experiences and stories on Instagram. Initially, some of my friends did not understand what I was doing, but over time their perceptions changed. Yet, I realised public awareness was still low, so I kept thinking: How could we better educate the public about migrant worker issues, and how can Singaporeans help?

That question inspired me to start Migrant x Me in 2018, a social enterprise that aims to bridge the gap between Singaporeans and migrants.

What do we do? In short, Migrant x Me conducts public workshops and experiential learning journeys, to allow both parties (Singaporeans and migrant workers) to understand each other better. Our focus is on youth, and hope to inspire the younger generation to be catalysts for positive change in society.

When I first started, I had very high expectations of myself! This led to some pressure and disagreements. People also had misunderstandings that I wanted to make money off the workers. But the heart of the Social Enterprise model is to create a sustainable and viable model, combining business while being focused on the social cause. I was afraid of offending people, and felt very lousy about myself and doubted what I wanted to do.

But after a few months of talking it out and getting mentors to be accountable to, my conviction grew and I knew I had to JUST DO IT! I’m still fearful of disagreement, but when I focus on the impact we can make, it drives me to continue on.

I am thankful for the support of my family too. At first, my parents were concerned for my safety, but with some precautions and reassurance, they now participate and support too. For some public holidays, my parents and I happily hosted some of the workers at our home. My parents remember the workers by name, and once they knew about their stories, they could understand why I started MxMe. It warms my heart to see my family serving them, and the gratitude the workers show us in return.

What’s next for MxMe? In the next 2 years, we hope to secure partnerships to bring our learning journey programme to more secondary schools! Our vision is for youth (and Singapore) to see our migrant workers not just as a number or a statistic, but rather, to see them as fellow humans, with a name, face, families, hopes and dreams.

After all, titles and nationalities aside, they’re people too, no different from you and me.

Kevin (Rebound with Resilience; Cultivating Resilience & Positive Mental Health In Youth)

I was a “perfect SG kid”. I went to “good” schools, got good grades and did well in sports. People praised me often: “Wow…You’re set for life, you’ll definitely succeed”

So I grew to love praise and validation from others. My self-worth became dependent on my grades, achievements & other’s opinions. That’s dangerous, because those things can change, and your self-worth becomes a yo-yo. Also, you live to please others, which is the surest way to be unhappy.

Couple of months before my ‘A’ level exams, my Mum shared that she had anxiety issues during her Uni exams (due to my grandma’s health). She couldn’t complete her exams and took a break from school. I looked at my Mum in the eye and said: “That will never happen to me”.

Couple of months later, the exact same thing happened to me.

Overwhelming anxiety led to a mental block. It felt like a heavy brick on your head, preventing oxygen from flowing. I handed up blank sheets of paper for my Math ‘A’ levels (6hr paper in total). I knew I would get ‘U’ (ungraded), the worst possible grade.

A thousand thoughts race through my mind: ‘What would people think?’ ‘What about my future?’ ‘What about my dreams? ‘Years of studying gone to waste.’

That “perfect kid” label that once made me happy was now a massive crippling weight. I was no longer that “perfect kid”, no longer able to get “prestigious jobs” and “straight A’s”. My identity was defined by the labels. So, I had an identity crisis, and it triggered a long battle with my mental health.

The night after ‘A’ levels ended, I had a nightmare and woke up drenched in cold sweat. A thought entered my mind: ‘it would be better if I take my life’. Literally, a chill ran down my spine, pure fear that makes you cold and shiver.

I felt fear for two reasons: 1) I was shocked that I was capable of such a thought. 2) I had absolutely no control over it. Reason 2 scared me more.

I woke my Mum and told her. She shivered. The exact same reaction I had. She hugged me tighter than she had ever did. Initially, I couldn’t understand what was going on, and neither did my parents. I feared embarrassment and judgement. And I judged myself: ‘It’s just a stupid exam, people have got it much worse, come on, get over it, don’t be weak…’

One day later, we drive to the hospital, where I eventually got sedated. I couldn’t sleep, and had 24/7 thoughts of my death. Just weird stuff, like how I was going to die. I was walking the house talking nonsense. Eventually, I felt nothing (The only thing worse than feeling fear is to feel nothing at all). I had 200% certainty I was going to die, that nothing would save me.

Depression inflicts pain; a devastating, but invisible pain. So it’s hard to understand, but I’ll try to explain, so you can help someone better if needed.

Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain (usually triggered by intense, prolonged stress). Once it occurs, it’s a physical condition (not just psychological). Which means, an invisible depression can be compared to a visible ankle sprain. Just as a sprain injures the bone, depression “injures” chemicals in the brain, which affects your moods. When someone suffers a sprain, you can’t force him to move without worsening the pain. Similarly, you can’t force someone with depression to “get over it” immediately.

This is why depression is dangerous & can take lives, because it takes away control of one's own thoughts & emotions (the things that makes us human) & isolates sufferers from others who don’t understand. Without control and support, it feels like an endless battle.

Yet, as endless as it seems…there is still hope.

There were some key factors that helped. One was emotional support. It was stressful for my family, who saw me change completely. But they loved me unconditionally, they didn’t judge, they were patient and always hopeful. I also had a few close friends who took effort to write to me, even though I isolated myself. They are true gems. The letter in the picture is the most touching one I’ve ever received (read it if u have time). Back then, I felt it didn’t have much effect, but looking back it made a huge difference.

I took medication, which helped reduce the constant negative thoughts. At first, I refused to let go of the past, but the longer I held on, the more painful it got. But slowly I shifted my mindset. I vividly recall the moment where I had an enlightenment. I felt a huge burden lifted off my chest, I felt lighter, like I could fly. Something in me just switched, I told myself: “I don’t need to go to Uni to be successful, I don’t need to get ‘A’s. I will create my own path.” When I truly let go, I felt liberated, and it was a major turning point.

I took small actions to make myself happy. I volunteered to read stories to underprivileged kids at a hospital, and I took kids with special needs on excursions. I read about animal therapy, and I cycled to visit dog shelters every day to play with dogs. I realized one crucial thing: the kids & the dogs didn’t care about my grades; they didn’t care if I had 1000 achievements or 0; they didn’t care if I was tall, short, round or triangle. They only they cared about was that I loved them with my heart. And when I did, they loved me in return. It was deeply healing.

So I decided I’ll get a dog. She was unlike the other pups: reserved and slightly fearful of human touch, huddling in a corner. I pet her, and she dodged it. So I decided to get little Eliora. And this is so cliche it's ridiculous… But when I got her, Swedish House Mafia was playing over the shop’s speakers: “Don't u worry child, see heaven’s got a plan for you”

It tuned out my worries did fade. And I guess heaven did have a plan for me.

6 years ago, I felt that my “failure” would drastically change my life for the worse. I was half right, it did change my life drastically, but for the better.

Although those months were the darkest period, it is by far the biggest blessing of my life. My biggest “failure” taught me lessons that success never would. It gave me experience to truly empathize and help others better. And most of all, it led me to a passion & purpose – for training and coaching youth to recognize their unique worth, and realise their fullest potential. It gives me indescribable joy, inspiration and energy.

6 years later, on 1 Jan 2019, Rebound With Resilience begin. It’s been such a fulfilling journey and I am so grateful and thankful to all of you, and sincerely hope that we have helped you in some way.

Yes I know it’s never easy. But in tough times, always remember this: failure hurts, but it’s not permanent…it’s temporary, it’ll pass. No matter how cold & dark the night is, the sun will ALWAYS rise tomorrow. Of course it’s difficult, sometimes, when you’re facing the crap, you curse & swear & never understand why. But I promise, if you just hang on, seek support, find the lessons, slowly make changes, ONE DAY, you’ll look back and you will understand completely why it happened. And you’ll feel a sense of profound gratitude.

6 years after I messed up, I finally truly understand the reason for my struggle. I am thankful for everyone and everything that helped me #ReboundwithResilience. And now feel a burning desire to help others do the same❤

Jared (Glow In the Dark; Working with People With Disabilities)

What drives me? Why do I do what I do?

I’m passionate about entrepreneurship & social justice and I’ve always wanted to harness it for something meaningful.

I had a friend who ended his life 4 years ago. He was autistic and faced constant bullying at work and on social media. Being one of his few friends, I felt I wasn’t a good friend at all. I dedicate my efforts in honour of him.

It triggered a realization that life isn’t just about myself and happiness. I felt that it was about living for a purpose larger than myself. Thus far, running Glow in the Dark Singapore has been a journey of faith for me, and through the failures and successes, I give thanks to God.

In university, I joined a CCA where you could pitch business ideas to solve social problems. We got approached by an organization that cares for the blind. The challenge was to find employment opportunities for them, as they were often discriminated.

My team envisioned an idea – to train them to do public speaking and conduct workshops. They could be empowered and paid fairly, while audiences benefit from their sharing. Workshops can be centered around developing empathy and resilience, and to raise positive awareness for people with disabilities (PWDs). We named it ‘Glow in the Dark’, to signify that there is hope and light, even in the “darkness”.

There were roadblocks. The organization didn’t think it’ll work. But I did. So we pitched the idea to MSF instead, who initially agreed to give us a 10k grant to start it. Yet at the last minute, they pulled out as they felt it was too risky.

Still, I had strong reasons to continue, so we entered another competition. This time, to our surprise, we won it and was given $25k to kickstart the social enterprise.

Why did I continue despite the rejection? If you do something different, there will always be doubters, sometimes even those close to you. Yet, if you’re clear of your purpose and mission, you will naturally care less about what others think. I believed in the vision, and I knew I would regret for life if I didn’t at least give it a shot

 The first workshop was terrible. I didn’t have experience planning it, and our trainers were very raw. I was discouraged from the feedback. There were times where I really questioned myself, ‘Can this really work?’, ‘Should I let this go?’. But each time the doubt came, I recalled my mission and my friend whom I dedicate my efforts to.

After much failure and correction, I am proud of where we’ve come, and most of all, I’m proud of my trainers. It was not easy at first, some trainers have painful memories and stage fright, which causes them to doubt themselves. Yet, with individual coaching and treating them as family, we overcome the struggles together. Now, the feedback from audience is much better. Of course, there’s room for improvement, but I am grateful of how far they’ve grown, they have tremendous courage and desire, and I'm inspired by them too. We have since been featured on Straits Times and reached out to over 6000+ participants.

Despite the small success, we cannot get complacent. For trainers to continually get a decent salary, we must improve. To be sustainable, we cannot rely on sympathy votes, we need to be as good as or better than other professional training companies.

I don’t have it all figured out, but that’s ok, no one can have all the answers. With God’s grace, and the support from my family of trainers, I believe we have the courage to figure it out, and continue to Glow in the Dark.

Yu Shu (A Kint Story; Fighting Wastage & Giving Pre Loved Clothes a new lease of life)

Part 1: In secondary school and junior College, things were simpler, more standardized. If you follow instructions and work hard, you will generally do fine. So I focused mainly on my studies and got decent grades. I was reserved and preferred to keep my opinions to myself.

When I first entered university, it was a culture shock. I went to business school and there were marks for speaking up in class. Because of my shy nature, I found it hard to participate and lost out, and got a low GPA (grade point average) for my first semester. For once in my schooling life, there wasn’t any clear or ‘model’ answers. There was a lot of frustration and even resentment towards the system. Yet the more I fought it and hated it, the bigger the problem seemed. I had to find a way to take responsibility.

Part 2: I made a decision to step out of my comfort zone. I successfully applied for a school programme that allowed me to study and work overseas for a few months. I wanted to go to an Asian country, where the culture would be similar, but my sister urged me to go to New York instead, to push myself even more. I had some fears, but agreed.

On the day of the flight, my school called me and said: “You can’t go to New York, the company you're supposed to work for closed down”. I was MAD! I had booked my tickets and planned to go. I told them "I’m going no matter what!". So they gave me a period of 3 months to find a job there, and if I didn’t, ill have to fly back to Singapore.

I did find a job! New York was an eye-opening experience. Over there, it was the norm to participate, and people were embracing of your thoughts & the paths you decide to take. I felt that my opinions were valued, and gradually I made a shift to be open and expressive when needed.

Part 3: When I started work, a colleague once asked me why I wore the same clothes to work everyday. I was upset, but it also sparked an idea. I realised there was a pressure for girls to stand out, leading to a ‘fast fashion’ culture where we throw away clothes and create wastage. People are getting more environmentally conscious, but it's hard to find ethical avenues to shop.

Therefore, last October, I left my full-time job to start a social enterprise, an online thrift clothes store called The Kint Story. Kint, short for Kintsugi, represents the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. In the same way, we source for preloved clothes and give them a new lease of life, providing affordable clothes ethically.

Running a business is a BIG change for me. I used to be super camera shy, and still am. I’m also fearful of making presentations in big crowds. But I tell myself it’s no longer about me, I have to do it for a bigger cause. When I shift that focus away from me to something greater, it makes things easier 😊

Another big change is taking charge. I was never a natural leader, but now, people look up to me and depend on me to make good decisions. I have more freedom & control and with it, more responsibility. I have to develop myself and be convicted. As an employee, roles were more ‘black and white’, but as an entrepreneur, I do multiple things.

I have no regrets, I embrace the challenge. It’s tough sometimes, but I know in my heart I want to do work that gives me satisfaction and meaning. I know I can’t work just for the money.

I know students sometimes struggle with self-confidence/worth issues, and THAT WAS ME TOO! So I can relate and want like to share something to help: Always remember that your self-worth is never tied to just one thing. At different points in your life, those things will change. Instead, find something lasting that comes from within, it’s like having a small quiet voice inside of you that values yourself, that finds small things about yourself to be proud of. It's up to us to recognize and build that.