Why Dream?
Look around you. The table, the ceiling, the building you’re in and the smart phone you’re staring at. Everything around you is a product of a dream; everything in this world is created twice: first in someone’s mind (as an idea), and then in reality. And so, isn’t it incredibly ironic to say “Stop dreaming, come back to reality”, when the ‘reality’ around you is created by someone’s dreams.
Yet, we are conditioned to suppress our dreams. Most will rationalize their dreams away (“maybe I’m not good enough”, “success is only meant for talented people”), and ultimately die with the music still locked up inside them.
To prevent this tragedy, and to live life to our fullest measure, DREAM WE MUST!
The Problem
Yet once, when I was telling this to students, someone raised up his hand and said “Cher, we know we must follow your heart, but HOW? Where to start?”
It made me think. In fact, with social media, students’ already get exposed to much content encouraging them to “dream big” and “follow your passion”.
Yet, the concern as the student states, is HOW?
To address this, I came up with a 5A guide that students (or anyone) can follow to pursue their dreams.
1. Authenticity
NUMBER 1 and most importantly, dreams need to be authentic. The word ‘Authentic’ comes from the Greek word ‘authentikos’ – to mean "original and genuine”, and "acting on one's own authority".
I love this. We are created unique and original. Even identical twins have different interests and dreams. A dream is our birthright, we have the right to pursue what we love.
Yet, too often, pressured by societal, cultural or family expectations, we may take on others wishes, and feel unhappy in the process. It could be taking a particular subject combination, not taking part in a CCA you enjoy, or not pursuing a course you want because you’re told it’s “not practical”.
Things can get especially hard when people that stop you are those closest to you (like your parents), and you don’t want to disappoint them. They mean the best for you. However, sometimes they are giving advice on incomplete information. Also, taking on their expectations could conversely, lead to negative feelings and strained relationships in the long run - because you subconsciously blame them for your unhappiness.
To solve this, find a time to speak to your parents and express your desire. I’ve found that if you’re clear and sincere, they will support you. They may have their doubts initially, but when they see your happiness and growth, they eventually will. I share this from personal experience chasing my own dreams, and also from numerous examples that were once in a similar position.
(If things are still difficult, find a mediator like a teacher to help your parents understand your choices and the value of them)
They key to authenticity is to really ask yourself, what do YOU really enjoy doing? What makes your heart sing? What energizes you and makes it feel like time “stops”? Use these questions as prompts and listen to your intuition and emotions., they leave clues to help you be authentic and stay true to your heart.
“Envy is ignorance, and imitation is suicide.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
2. Awareness & Appropriateness
“Don’t be a wishful thinker”
There is a tinge of truth in this statement. If I say that I want to be the best ballerina in the world, it might be a stretch. Ok maybe that’s a bit exaggerated, but you get the point.
It’s practical to develop and nurture dreams that are appropriate, that leverage your natural talents and abilities.
Take any successful person in any field, and the blueprint to success is consistent:
They identified a key talent or strength and
They worked like crazy at it.
Seems commonsensical right? Yet we hardly apply it. Why? Because self-awareness is not always emphasized in formal education or society.
To solve this, make a conscious effort to raise your self-awareness to your strengths. There are 2 key ways to do it:
1) Ask 3 closest friends what they think your strengths and weaknesses are. Tell them to be brutally honest.
2) Do some personality tests online. It can be the DISC, Strengthsfinder or MBTI. When you read the results, and relate it to your life, you might have a better idea of where you strengths and inclinations lie. If you’re an old (er) student and considering a particular course, take a look at some careers or work that may suit your personality type.
These 2 steps helps you raise your self-awareness! It will help you an appropriate dream.
3. Asks More from You
“If your dream doesn’t scare you, find a new dream”
You’ve got an authentic, appropriate dream. Next, always remember to dream BIG. A dream MUST ‘ask more from you’, it must generate creative tension.
‘Creative tension’ refers to the uncertainty we feel when moving from where we are to where we want to be. A dream MUST generate creative tension. It forces you out of your comfort zone, to challenge yourself and pick up new thinking and skills to accomplish your dream.
4. ACTION!
Next step, ACTION ACTION ACTION. The only way to refine and develop your dream is to take action and GET OUT OF YOUR SAFE BOX.
To give you a framework to take action, let me introduce you to the of Ikigai, the Japanese concept of purpose. Look at the diagram below. There are 3 circles – what you’re passionate about (authentic dream), what you’re good at (appropriate dream), and what the market needs (awareness).
Go Wide, then Deep
The overlap (sweet spot) is where you want to focus on your action on. Do research and find the overlap of these 3 parts, and take ACTION there. Go WIDE, meaning try as many things as you can in this overlap. Once you find something you want to focus on, then go DEEP, focus on developing a specific skill or career.
Let me explain: For myself, I was decent and speaking and also liked it. From taking personality tests and looking at my life, I enjoyed helping and connecting with people. So I researched, what are some available work in the market that pays me for doing this? Then I tired many things in the overlap - hosting, training, speaking in schools, I was even a ‘clown’ at birthday parties for kids hosting their games.
Eventually, I realized I loved training the most, and also have a passion for entrepreneurship. That’s how I started to drop the rest, and focus on working towards starting Rebound with Resilience.
Now of course your path and overlap in the venn diagram is different, but apply the same principle for yourself. For example, if you’re good at coding or graphic design, and you enjoy doing it, find the possible work available in the market, and just go for it!
5. Association
The last IMPORTANT thing I want to share with you is the power of association; hanging out with like-minded people or seeking help/advice from people who are where you want to be.
Mentorship
Behind every successfully athlete, dancer, musician, there is a dedicated coach. Behind every loving soul, is someone who first loved them.
If you dream of being a successful entrepreneur, athlete, counsellor, speaker etc, find someone who already is. And seek his/her mentorship. Learning from a mentor accelerates your growth. You learn from their past failures and avoid them. You model after their admirable traits and successful strategies. Of course, seeking a mentor is not always easy, but it’s possible if your desire is strong.
To give you an example, I was once at a event, when I heard a gentleman speak. He is a founder of a large training company that does programmes in over 5 countries. I was impressed with his thought process and approached him to introduce myself and exchange numbers. Afterwards, I set up an appointment, with zero expectations. In that 30mins I had with him, I was blown away. In 30mins, he picked out all of blindspots, and gave me clear strategies and action steps to grow my business. That incident reminded me of the power of mentorship and being humble enough to learn from people that have done what you dream of doing.
Like-Minded Groups and Organizations
Think of the 5 people you are closest to. You likely share similar beliefs and values, and speak and dress similarly. Why? Because we are primarily by information we receive from our 5 senses, which results from who we hang out with most.
How is this relevant to pursuing your dream? Simple. Find an association of like-minded people that share similar aspirations. Find platforms that develops your skill sets necessary to accomplish your dream. For e.g joining a CCA, Club, Interest Group outside school.
An association keeps your accountable, sharpens your skills, and inspires you in the direction of your dream. It may also provide “dream-saving” encouragement when facing failure.
Remember, “environment is sometimes stronger than will”. Chasing a dream against the status quo is tough. Many fall out because the environment overcomes them. So choose your environment and association wisely.
Conclusion:
With that, we come to an end of a rather long article hahah. I hope it has given you a comprehensive read on how to discover, develop and deepen your passions and chase your DREAMS! So Dream on! (no sarcasm intended)