Jared (Glow In the Dark; Working with People With Disabilities)

What drives me? Why do I do what I do?

I’m passionate about entrepreneurship & social justice and I’ve always wanted to harness it for something meaningful.

I had a friend who ended his life 4 years ago. He was autistic and faced constant bullying at work and on social media. Being one of his few friends, I felt I wasn’t a good friend at all. I dedicate my efforts in honour of him.

It triggered a realization that life isn’t just about myself and happiness. I felt that it was about living for a purpose larger than myself. Thus far, running Glow in the Dark Singapore has been a journey of faith for me, and through the failures and successes, I give thanks to God.

In university, I joined a CCA where you could pitch business ideas to solve social problems. We got approached by an organization that cares for the blind. The challenge was to find employment opportunities for them, as they were often discriminated.

My team envisioned an idea – to train them to do public speaking and conduct workshops. They could be empowered and paid fairly, while audiences benefit from their sharing. Workshops can be centered around developing empathy and resilience, and to raise positive awareness for people with disabilities (PWDs). We named it ‘Glow in the Dark’, to signify that there is hope and light, even in the “darkness”.

There were roadblocks. The organization didn’t think it’ll work. But I did. So we pitched the idea to MSF instead, who initially agreed to give us a 10k grant to start it. Yet at the last minute, they pulled out as they felt it was too risky.

Still, I had strong reasons to continue, so we entered another competition. This time, to our surprise, we won it and was given $25k to kickstart the social enterprise.

Why did I continue despite the rejection? If you do something different, there will always be doubters, sometimes even those close to you. Yet, if you’re clear of your purpose and mission, you will naturally care less about what others think. I believed in the vision, and I knew I would regret for life if I didn’t at least give it a shot

 The first workshop was terrible. I didn’t have experience planning it, and our trainers were very raw. I was discouraged from the feedback. There were times where I really questioned myself, ‘Can this really work?’, ‘Should I let this go?’. But each time the doubt came, I recalled my mission and my friend whom I dedicate my efforts to.

After much failure and correction, I am proud of where we’ve come, and most of all, I’m proud of my trainers. It was not easy at first, some trainers have painful memories and stage fright, which causes them to doubt themselves. Yet, with individual coaching and treating them as family, we overcome the struggles together. Now, the feedback from audience is much better. Of course, there’s room for improvement, but I am grateful of how far they’ve grown, they have tremendous courage and desire, and I'm inspired by them too. We have since been featured on Straits Times and reached out to over 6000+ participants.

Despite the small success, we cannot get complacent. For trainers to continually get a decent salary, we must improve. To be sustainable, we cannot rely on sympathy votes, we need to be as good as or better than other professional training companies.

I don’t have it all figured out, but that’s ok, no one can have all the answers. With God’s grace, and the support from my family of trainers, I believe we have the courage to figure it out, and continue to Glow in the Dark.

Yu Shu (A Kint Story; Fighting Wastage & Giving Pre Loved Clothes a new lease of life)

Part 1: In secondary school and junior College, things were simpler, more standardized. If you follow instructions and work hard, you will generally do fine. So I focused mainly on my studies and got decent grades. I was reserved and preferred to keep my opinions to myself.

When I first entered university, it was a culture shock. I went to business school and there were marks for speaking up in class. Because of my shy nature, I found it hard to participate and lost out, and got a low GPA (grade point average) for my first semester. For once in my schooling life, there wasn’t any clear or ‘model’ answers. There was a lot of frustration and even resentment towards the system. Yet the more I fought it and hated it, the bigger the problem seemed. I had to find a way to take responsibility.

Part 2: I made a decision to step out of my comfort zone. I successfully applied for a school programme that allowed me to study and work overseas for a few months. I wanted to go to an Asian country, where the culture would be similar, but my sister urged me to go to New York instead, to push myself even more. I had some fears, but agreed.

On the day of the flight, my school called me and said: “You can’t go to New York, the company you're supposed to work for closed down”. I was MAD! I had booked my tickets and planned to go. I told them "I’m going no matter what!". So they gave me a period of 3 months to find a job there, and if I didn’t, ill have to fly back to Singapore.

I did find a job! New York was an eye-opening experience. Over there, it was the norm to participate, and people were embracing of your thoughts & the paths you decide to take. I felt that my opinions were valued, and gradually I made a shift to be open and expressive when needed.

Part 3: When I started work, a colleague once asked me why I wore the same clothes to work everyday. I was upset, but it also sparked an idea. I realised there was a pressure for girls to stand out, leading to a ‘fast fashion’ culture where we throw away clothes and create wastage. People are getting more environmentally conscious, but it's hard to find ethical avenues to shop.

Therefore, last October, I left my full-time job to start a social enterprise, an online thrift clothes store called The Kint Story. Kint, short for Kintsugi, represents the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. In the same way, we source for preloved clothes and give them a new lease of life, providing affordable clothes ethically.

Running a business is a BIG change for me. I used to be super camera shy, and still am. I’m also fearful of making presentations in big crowds. But I tell myself it’s no longer about me, I have to do it for a bigger cause. When I shift that focus away from me to something greater, it makes things easier 😊

Another big change is taking charge. I was never a natural leader, but now, people look up to me and depend on me to make good decisions. I have more freedom & control and with it, more responsibility. I have to develop myself and be convicted. As an employee, roles were more ‘black and white’, but as an entrepreneur, I do multiple things.

I have no regrets, I embrace the challenge. It’s tough sometimes, but I know in my heart I want to do work that gives me satisfaction and meaning. I know I can’t work just for the money.

I know students sometimes struggle with self-confidence/worth issues, and THAT WAS ME TOO! So I can relate and want like to share something to help: Always remember that your self-worth is never tied to just one thing. At different points in your life, those things will change. Instead, find something lasting that comes from within, it’s like having a small quiet voice inside of you that values yourself, that finds small things about yourself to be proud of. It's up to us to recognize and build that.

Wei Sheng (Heart Attack Survivor)

My brother had passed away from a heart attack when he was 19, so it was dejavu for my family. According to my Dad, my body was turning bluish-black. The doctor gave my loved ones 2 scenarios: 1) If I wake up, it’s likely I won’t be “normal”, because my body was without oxygen for about 45 mins. Or 2) If I don’t wake up, I’ll be in a vegetable state.

Till today, I don’t remember anything. I was told I had a seizure and my tongue rolled back. Thankfully, my girlfriend kept pumping my chest till the paramedics came. They gave me shocks and took me to the hospital, my heart stopped for about 45 minutes.

When I woke up, the doctor said it was a miracle, that there were no severe side effects. But. I had an ICD implanted in me to monitor my irregular heartbeat. It could have been hereditary, but other than that there was no warning. I was an Officer in the army, I was fit, I was strong. I had my life planned out, and I had plenty of time to achieve my goals. But time had other ideas.

After the incident, I went straight back to school. I was only in my first semester in university. I had a scholarship, so I had to work hard. But I struggled badly, the doctor warned of short term memory loss, I didn’t believe it until part of my brain started to hurt when I tried to recall formulas. I was taking Electronics and Electrical Engineering (EEE), and it was content heavy. Also, because of my ICD implanted, I couldn’t go near many equipment, which would be a major problem if I did pursue a career in EEE.

I was in KL when I had my first ICD shock. It felt like something gripping my chest and sucking it in. The ‘shock’ was meant to get my heart back into regular rhythm, when it dramatically changes (see picture). Yet, I still panicked. It’s that feeling of uncertainty, like it could end any moment. From August 2016 to March 2018, I had 17 shocks. On the 17th one, I lost consciousness. When I woke up, I had a major realization - my health and family was my priority. I decided to leave school and focus on my recovery. It was very difficult, because I compared myself to my peers, and I still had a scholarship. But when your life is on the line, these are small matters.

Accept. Find Meaning & Support. Keep trying. These were the 3 stages of recovery that I helped me, which I’ll like to share.

There was a period I just couldn’t accept, I kept asking ‘Why me’. But it didn’t help me, it made me feel more ‘stuck’. When you’re not well, I think your loved ones suffer the most. I’ve seen their tears and pain they had to go through, when the doctor said I have little options: my condition is rare and there was no specific treatment.

Yet, they were with me all the way, mainly my parents, girlfriend and close friends. I started to find meaning in my setback, I realized how much they love me, and how much it strengthened our relationship. I told myself, for them and for myself, I will fight.

So I kept trying. I got a dog named 小白 (Little White). She lightened the atmosphere in my family, she is so adorable and innocent, and it ‘sucks out’ the sadness. I got a second opinion for medication, and that switch has helped me a lot physically. And I found meaningful work too, as a financial planner. My agent helped to lift the financial burden greatly for my family, so I felt the benefits. Now I find joy in sincerely sharing and helping others too. It gives me a purpose and goals I can work hard for.

I’ll like to share an analogy: Life is like a game of darts. We might miss at first. But if we just keep trying, we keep throwing and throwing and throwing, eventually some will hit. Time will tell. We may not see the benefit in the short term, but in the long term you’ll look back and thank yourself for not succumbing.

Life is a lot lighter now. Every day I live in gratitude. I survived and live to tell my story. And I hope by sharing others can find strength to overcome their tough times too.

Yip Pin Xiu (3 Time Paralympic Gold Medalist)

At 2 years old, I felt sharp pains in my foot. When you walk, you can flex your foot up to take the next step. But mine has no flexion, it was just ‘piak piak piak’. I was initially diagnosed with muscular dystrophy, a condition which causes progressive weakening of muscles.

My mum teared. She was worried for my future in general, and whether I would have friends. In primary school, her fears were valid. Classmates would throw staples in my hair and treated me differently. It wasn’t out of malice, just kids being kids. But it did make me upset sometimes.

I remember the day vividly. I was 5, and followed my brothers to swim class. I really enjoyed being in the water. Thankfully the swim coach had experienced coaching people with disabilities so she agreed. I fell in love with the water, or rather the feeling. I could jump, do headstands, somersaults, do what everyone else could do. I felt free.

At about 12, I eventually had to use a wheelchair. Many presume I felt negative about it, but it was the opposite- I felt happy. Because walking was starting to get difficult, and I didn’t want to always rely on others. With the wheelchair, I could go around on my own. I felt independent.

Freedom and Independence.

Both are mindsets I choose to carry, that aren’t limited by my “disability”.

You can be able bodied, yet disabled by your mindset. Conversely, you might be physically disabled, yet enabled by your mindset.

I’m very competitive. Swimming gave me that platform to compete. In secondary school, I trained hard and won. After years of training competitively, my coach saw potential. She then asked if I wanted to step up my training for the 2008 Beijing Paralympics, to at least 12 times a week. The Paralympics was during my ‘O’ level year, just 1 month before.

I decided to do it. Time management became crucial. I put priority on swimming, reduced social time, and studied and trained concurrently. It wasn’t easy, there were challenges. I had to make tweaks to my strokes, keep improving, wake up at 5am and balance between training and school. There were days it was especially tiring, but I never thought of quitting. I know that I cannot snooze, because every training session brings me closer to the goal.

When I am asked what’s my mindset that helps me, I always share: I focus on things I CAN control, not things I can’t. I can’t control how fast my competitors swim, the competition venue, the conditions & circumstances. So I don’t worry about it, I spend my energy on things I can change, like how hard I train, how well I execute my race. It applies not just in swimming, but to life.

15 Sep 2008. I’m in the 50m backstroke final. Hundreds of training sessions have led to this. I was slightly nervous before, but not now. My focus is not on the outcome. My only focus is the execution. I have visualized this race hundreds of times in my head – my breathing, my strokes, my technique. The starting whistle sounds. I give everything I’ve got.

I reach back and stretch one last time. I pull myself up and squint at the scoreboard. 58.75s. Gold with a new world record.

I step on the podium and wave to celebrate with the Singapore contingent. In the audience, my Mum waves back with a wide smile, and my Dad captures the moment with his video recorder.
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As I sing the Singapore National Anthem, I am overwhelmed with many emotions - Gratitude, happiness, a sense of accomplishment that the hard work has paid off.

Since 2008, there’s been ups and downs. I took a break after 2008 to focus on my studies. When i decided to focus on swimming again, i dreaded having to wake up at 5am. It took me awhile to get back into the groove. I eventually went back to training, but finished 4th in both of my events in the 2012 Paralympics. After that, in University, I learnt my lesson. Which was to start training immediately and commit myself completely to it. It was really taxing to balance studies and swimming however it was necessary. My team and I put in a lot of effort. Hence, I was beyond happy when I did win 2 more Gold medals at the 2016 Rio Paralympics.

My accomplishments is not solely from my efforts. I have many people to thank…family, supporters, friends, coaches, it’s hard to name all. As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. My entire village is my Singapore Kampung.

From someone who was born with unique circumstances, who knew little about para-sports, who faced common struggles that Singaporeans face, to eventually being a Paralympian and a voice for Singaporeans…I want to tell others that if you want it bad enough, if you set your heart and mind on something, what we can achieve is limitless.

Even though we are a really small country, we can do big things.

Steve (Paralympian & Speaker)

I would often fall down and get cuts and bruises. Yet, the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional one. When I bumped into others, many would get annoyed and shout “You blind or what?”

I love playing sports – soccer, basketball, track and field, swimming, cycling, and many others. I have seen the beautiful world – I like travelling, chilling out, watching movies and dramas. Not much different from many of you.

But that changed in 2004. I was diagnosed with an incurable eye condition called Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP). Over time my vision got blurrier and narrower, till it was lost.

Imagine a young man in his 20s, full of high hopes and dreams, stuck by this misfortunate. I was in a state of shock. I kept asking ‘Why me?’ I isolated myself. I didn’t want to get out of my house. I didn’t want to fall down. I didn’t want people’s insults.

One day, something turned my life around. I was awakened by a thunderstorm. I realised I was very hungry, as I hadn’t eaten the whole day. So I took an umbrella and went out to get food. Along the way, I slipped and fell on the concrete, there was blood dripping down my shin. But I was very hungry, so I endured the pain and got my food.

On my way back, I realised something: If you are hungry, you will find a way to get food. If I’m hungry enough, I will find a way to overcome my adversities. I realised I lost my hunger for life.

At that moment, I decided to be hungry for life again. I furthered my studies and graduated with a double degree in IT. Yet, many employers rejected me because of my disability, I failed 12 interviews in 1 year. I was losing my hunger again, getting dejected. But an inner voice told me I must not quit. On the 13th interview, I got accepted to work in a call centre. Within 2.5 years, I was promoted to a team leader and supervisor. In 2014, I was honoured to be a recipient of the Exemplary Employee Award held by the Enabling Employer's Network and SgEnable.

Now when people ask me how I overcome, I tell this story of the thunderstorm. We all face ‘storms’ in life. You may get wet, fall down and ‘bleed’ a little, but if you have the hunger, a desire and a goal, you will always get back up and find a way.

At first, I could not accept my situation. I felt I could no longer do things I love like play sports. I refused to use a walking stick because I was embarrassed. When I finally decided to change, I realized it was not that bad, a lot of fears were in my head. I started loving life again, working at things that made me happy, and got back my self-confidence.

I started playing sports again. I picked up blind football, where there’s a bell in the ball that allows me to locate and kick it. I captained the Singapore team in the 2015 Asean Para Games. I picked up tandem cycling last year too, where there would be a sighted guide in front to steer the bicycle, and I’ll be at the back peddling, like the ‘engine’ of the bike. I love it and train 5 times a week after work.

I also started public speaking, I take leave from work to share my story with students, to inspire them to overcome their struggles. I want to improve as a motivational speaker. My dream is to write a book in 2-3 years time.

It was a proud moment. I never expected it, I just did my best. It felt good that I could bring glory to my country. It means a lot to me, because It’s not just a public victory, but a private one. Behind the medal, is hours of training, but most importantly, the tough struggle and triumph over my disability. After the competition, a reporter asked me to share one line of advice. I said: “Don’t let your disability (both physical and mental) disable your abilities”. If I can do it, I believe you can do it 💪

Zahier (Musician & Speaker)

Part 1: London is a beautiful place. I went there for a school trip in Secondary 1. I remember sitting in a private coach that took us to tourist attractions. I felt captivated as I took the sights in.

Several years later, I sit on a wheelchair in the hospital. It was dark, all I could hear were murmurs as nurses wheeled me around for eye tests. I felt like I was a test subject. I felt angry and hurt.

“I’m sorry Zahier, I did my best, but could not recover your sight”. Those words hit me hard. I would be blind for the rest of my life. I was totally lost.

I would lie awake in bed and hear my Mum crying in the other room. My role as the eldest son was reversed, I felt ‘weak’ as I needed help in everything. I could not accept it.

I went back to school after taking a year off, but my friends had all graduated. It was lonely and things were different, I had to use a white cane to move around.

One morning, I was walking to morning assembly. All of a sudden, someone push me very hard from the side! It was an accident, but I couldn’t control my emotions. I got angry, lifted my cane, and swung it in the direction I was pushed. Thankfully, I missed. But, you see...it made me feel so useless.

Part 2: loved playing the guitar and performing. At first, I believed I could no longer do it. I could not see the chords nor where to place my fingers. But my cousin believed in me. She told me about Jose Feliciano, a famous guitarist who was born blind. I gave it a try. I would hear new songs, and match the notes the notes on my guitar. After some effort, it worked 🎸😄

Playing the guitar helped me regain my confidence. I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. I accepted what I couldn’t change and focused on what I could. Life is still full of adventure!

I got help from Singapore Association of the Visually Handicapped. I met many other people whose stories of resilience inspired me. I learnt to use my other senses and skills to be independent.

Since then, I’m grateful for how far I've come. I was invited to perform in the President’s Star Charity with Sezairi Sezali. I am in a band now and we perform occasionally. On weekdays, I work at a perfumery where I test scents for quality. I also ventured to public speaking. It was scary, but I grew to love it. Recently, I went to a school to share my story, and sung a song for them. Two boys came up to me in tears, saying I inspired them.

It was the first time this happened. I was emotional too. I was not ‘useless’ like I once thought. I am loved, valued and useful ❤️

Part 3 (Euis): My good friend introduced Zahier to me. When I look for a potential partner, I look at the heart, rather than the appearance. So I was ok with Zahier’s condition. We first chatted over WhatsApp. I enjoyed the conversations. He’s funny and makes me smile. When we finally met, I fell more in love. I admire his resilience and optimism. But most importantly, he is serious about me, and he assured me that we can overcome any obstacles together. Every time I face a problem, he calms me down with his advice and care. He makes me feel peaceful.

Part 4: became a father recently! I feel overwhelming love when I hold my baby boy. I talk to him and tickle him, and he responds with adorable sounds and giggles. I burp him and rock him to sleep too. It makes me feel good that I can do something for him. I smile inside when I think of him, it feels surreal…he’s my baby boy! When I feel stressed after coming back from work, I hold him and immediately feel better. I have this strong sense of responsibility. To do better. To work hard. I want to do all I can to make sure my boy has a bright future.

Jon

When I first received my PSLE results, I felt really down. I was the first in my family to be enrolled in the Normal Technical stream and I felt like a disappointment.

When I started secondary school, I wasn’t motivated and wasn't doing well. Then one day, my teacher (Mr Ng) pulled me out of the class. He spoke to me with passion, I could feel it. He said he believed in me and my potential. He said I was special in the way I showed leadership and helped my peers. I was deeply inspired by his words. I worked hard and managed to be in the top few of the cohort. I also joined the student council to improve my leadership skills.

Now when I face failure, I think of the word ‘opportunity’. Failure gives me the opportunity to reflect and improve myself. What can I change to better myself?

It’s sad when I see students put false limitations on themselves, like how I did. We all need a 'Mr Ng' in our lives. He taught me not to base my potential on my current grades. He taught me to appreciate my unique strengths beyond my grades.

My hope is that I can be a 'Mr Ng' to my peers.

Sanshray

I've always wanted a pet dog since primary school, but my Mum wasn’t too keen. About 2 years ago, she finally agreed. Not just that, she even went the extra mile to take care of our dog’s needs. I was so touched, because my Mum’s love for me was bigger than her concerns. She wanted me to be happy.

I love her dearly, I am where I am because of her. She is strong-willed, gentle & supported me throughout my life, despite knowing my condition will worsen slowly. She gave me the freedom to make my choices, she comforted me when I felt low, she followed me throughout my schooling life until my graduation. She waits for me when I'm having classes, helps me when I need to go to the toilet and joins me and my classmates for lunch.

Recently, she can’t carry me anymore, so we had to hire a domestic helper. I’m glad she finally gets a rest after 20 years, although she still follows me around, it’s part of her. She comes to my public speaking programs, takes videos and pictures of me, and claps along even though she doesn’t understand English. When I see the pride in her eyes, I am grateful.

My advice to students would be to increase mutual understanding and love with your parents. Maybe find a time to ask them out for a meal, they’ll be pleasantly surprised. Just have a chat & know them better. Once there is a stronger relationship, it becomes easier to communicate when you have different values and opinions. It’s also easier to open up and seek help when you need to.

In primary school, I had a friend who did some DJ-ing. I thought ‘that’s pretty cool’ and persuaded my Dad to buy some simple DJ equipment. I fell in love with it.

In Sec 1, I played at a talent contest in school. I got some flak. Some said I was just “pressing some random buttons”. Well, I can’t blame them because it did look like that haha. Still, I kept playing. Eventually, when they learned more about it, I received a lot of support from my peers and the school. I owe them a lot…. CCA groups gave me a chance to perform and my teachers encouraged me to nurture my unique talent, instead of stopping me.

I learnt mostly online and had a tutor for a short while. I kept practising and made tons of mistakes. It sucks at first, but they’re great learning moments. To be a good DJ, my mantra is ‘Be carefree, yet mindful’. You have to play to the crowd, be upbeat and passionate, yet watch your Mixer and Jogwheel (the board with many buttons & the big spinny wheel). Your hands have to work independently to mix and match the beats/effects to the music track. It’s not easy because our brain naturally synchronizes our hand actions (you know when your friends make you do that irritating hand switch thing).

It’s tough, but the challenge is satisfying. Benefits of DJ-ing? I overcame my shyness, which helps me be a better leader too. And I get to play to many people! Last June, SYF organizers saw my videos and invited me to perform. I collaborated with a band and performed to my biggest audience yet of ~1000 people. The feeling is priceless, to bring joy to others through music. I’m happy when I do it.

I always encourage friends my age to explore opportunities too, go beyond the initial fear, you might find something you’re good at. I believe if you put your mind to something you enjoy, you will make a contribution to others, which makes your own life meaningful too!