Part 1: London is a beautiful place. I went there for a school trip in Secondary 1. I remember sitting in a private coach that took us to tourist attractions. I felt captivated as I took the sights in.
Several years later, I sit on a wheelchair in the hospital. It was dark, all I could hear were murmurs as nurses wheeled me around for eye tests. I felt like I was a test subject. I felt angry and hurt.
“I’m sorry Zahier, I did my best, but could not recover your sight”. Those words hit me hard. I would be blind for the rest of my life. I was totally lost.
I would lie awake in bed and hear my Mum crying in the other room. My role as the eldest son was reversed, I felt ‘weak’ as I needed help in everything. I could not accept it.
I went back to school after taking a year off, but my friends had all graduated. It was lonely and things were different, I had to use a white cane to move around.
One morning, I was walking to morning assembly. All of a sudden, someone push me very hard from the side! It was an accident, but I couldn’t control my emotions. I got angry, lifted my cane, and swung it in the direction I was pushed. Thankfully, I missed. But, you see...it made me feel so useless.
Part 2: loved playing the guitar and performing. At first, I believed I could no longer do it. I could not see the chords nor where to place my fingers. But my cousin believed in me. She told me about Jose Feliciano, a famous guitarist who was born blind. I gave it a try. I would hear new songs, and match the notes the notes on my guitar. After some effort, it worked 🎸😄
Playing the guitar helped me regain my confidence. I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. I accepted what I couldn’t change and focused on what I could. Life is still full of adventure!
I got help from Singapore Association of the Visually Handicapped. I met many other people whose stories of resilience inspired me. I learnt to use my other senses and skills to be independent.
Since then, I’m grateful for how far I've come. I was invited to perform in the President’s Star Charity with Sezairi Sezali. I am in a band now and we perform occasionally. On weekdays, I work at a perfumery where I test scents for quality. I also ventured to public speaking. It was scary, but I grew to love it. Recently, I went to a school to share my story, and sung a song for them. Two boys came up to me in tears, saying I inspired them.
It was the first time this happened. I was emotional too. I was not ‘useless’ like I once thought. I am loved, valued and useful ❤️
Part 3 (Euis): My good friend introduced Zahier to me. When I look for a potential partner, I look at the heart, rather than the appearance. So I was ok with Zahier’s condition. We first chatted over WhatsApp. I enjoyed the conversations. He’s funny and makes me smile. When we finally met, I fell more in love. I admire his resilience and optimism. But most importantly, he is serious about me, and he assured me that we can overcome any obstacles together. Every time I face a problem, he calms me down with his advice and care. He makes me feel peaceful.
Part 4: became a father recently! I feel overwhelming love when I hold my baby boy. I talk to him and tickle him, and he responds with adorable sounds and giggles. I burp him and rock him to sleep too. It makes me feel good that I can do something for him. I smile inside when I think of him, it feels surreal…he’s my baby boy! When I feel stressed after coming back from work, I hold him and immediately feel better. I have this strong sense of responsibility. To do better. To work hard. I want to do all I can to make sure my boy has a bright future.