Part 1: In secondary school and junior College, things were simpler, more standardized. If you follow instructions and work hard, you will generally do fine. So I focused mainly on my studies and got decent grades. I was reserved and preferred to keep my opinions to myself.
When I first entered university, it was a culture shock. I went to business school and there were marks for speaking up in class. Because of my shy nature, I found it hard to participate and lost out, and got a low GPA (grade point average) for my first semester. For once in my schooling life, there wasn’t any clear or ‘model’ answers. There was a lot of frustration and even resentment towards the system. Yet the more I fought it and hated it, the bigger the problem seemed. I had to find a way to take responsibility.
Part 2: I made a decision to step out of my comfort zone. I successfully applied for a school programme that allowed me to study and work overseas for a few months. I wanted to go to an Asian country, where the culture would be similar, but my sister urged me to go to New York instead, to push myself even more. I had some fears, but agreed.
On the day of the flight, my school called me and said: “You can’t go to New York, the company you're supposed to work for closed down”. I was MAD! I had booked my tickets and planned to go. I told them "I’m going no matter what!". So they gave me a period of 3 months to find a job there, and if I didn’t, ill have to fly back to Singapore.
I did find a job! New York was an eye-opening experience. Over there, it was the norm to participate, and people were embracing of your thoughts & the paths you decide to take. I felt that my opinions were valued, and gradually I made a shift to be open and expressive when needed.
Part 3: When I started work, a colleague once asked me why I wore the same clothes to work everyday. I was upset, but it also sparked an idea. I realised there was a pressure for girls to stand out, leading to a ‘fast fashion’ culture where we throw away clothes and create wastage. People are getting more environmentally conscious, but it's hard to find ethical avenues to shop.
Therefore, last October, I left my full-time job to start a social enterprise, an online thrift clothes store called The Kint Story. Kint, short for Kintsugi, represents the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. In the same way, we source for preloved clothes and give them a new lease of life, providing affordable clothes ethically.
Running a business is a BIG change for me. I used to be super camera shy, and still am. I’m also fearful of making presentations in big crowds. But I tell myself it’s no longer about me, I have to do it for a bigger cause. When I shift that focus away from me to something greater, it makes things easier 😊
Another big change is taking charge. I was never a natural leader, but now, people look up to me and depend on me to make good decisions. I have more freedom & control and with it, more responsibility. I have to develop myself and be convicted. As an employee, roles were more ‘black and white’, but as an entrepreneur, I do multiple things.
I have no regrets, I embrace the challenge. It’s tough sometimes, but I know in my heart I want to do work that gives me satisfaction and meaning. I know I can’t work just for the money.
I know students sometimes struggle with self-confidence/worth issues, and THAT WAS ME TOO! So I can relate and want like to share something to help: Always remember that your self-worth is never tied to just one thing. At different points in your life, those things will change. Instead, find something lasting that comes from within, it’s like having a small quiet voice inside of you that values yourself, that finds small things about yourself to be proud of. It's up to us to recognize and build that.